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Tips for love, make it lasting

Tips for love, make it lasting


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Wondering how to keep your love alive? Romantic relationships, with all their complexity, are a fundamental component of our lives. However, as the poet Rainer Maria Rilke already said: "There is hardly anything more difficult than loving each other."

A romantic relationship can be easily recognized by its intense and often irrational driving force. When we fall in love, passion feeds our behavior, guide our thoughts, change our physical and chemical functioning, and alter our lives.

Love and friendship, two pillars

Aristotle He said that humans love three basic types of friendship: those that are useful, those that are pleasant and those that are good, and there is a type of friendship that corresponds to each love.

The useful friendships arise between fellow students or work, are born of necessity and convenience. The pleasant friendships They are based on the enjoyment that comes from spending a pleasant time together. The third type (and according to Aristotle the most mature and desirable) is the friendship based on goodness. When we discover the good character in someone, it makes us want to be close to that person, in addition, it can inspire us to want to improve ourselves. This would be the perfect base on which to build the foundations of a full and lasting romantic love.

Personal attraction may, at first glance, seem to have no logical reason or explanation, and sometimes it gives the feeling that it emanates from almost another dimension. But in reality there is some logic in all this, although it may not always seem so. There must always be some kind of affinity, closeness and complementarity

But romantic love It can also arise slowly, gradually building on a firm foundation of friendship, with a shared life history that allows reason to have control for at least an initial critical period. In any case, it doesn't matter how we find our perfect partner; We usually know when it has arrived, and the rest will be history.

In order for a love relationship to flourish and be as beautiful as it is lasting, it will depend on the involvement and desire to overcome the stones of the path that both have. In this article we bring you some practical tips that will help you nurture and maintain a close and romantic relationship with your better half, if you wish.

13 useful strategies to keep your love as a couple

1. Foster passion, not obsession

In the initial stages of a love relationship, it is normal for both to experience a strong desire to be with each other at all times. But as time passes, in some couples, this passion and concern can become an obsession and cause the loss of individuality.

It may interest you: When love becomes a drug: codependence

In a healthy relationship, the first feelings of falling in love turn over time into a deep love which allows each person to maintain their friendships, hobbies and a general sense of identity. If we feel that we have lost our individuality, and it is often our friends who notice it for the first time, it is important to remember what our interests and activities were to retake them, since that can help us find personal balance.

2. Look for the positive in an active way

Psychology argues that positive emotions can help people to flourish, but we can't wait for them to happen without more. Couples who are happier actively nurture these emotions. Doing so requires practice and understanding that these feelings fall into a continuum, from those of great excitement such as passion, fun and joy (which we often experience at the beginning of a relationship), to calmer emotions such as serenity, gratitude and The inspiration. If cultivating these emotions does not come naturally or spontaneously, it is important to "prioritize positivity", which means program common activities that once led us to experience pleasant and positive emotions.

3. Understand that emotions rise and fall

Emotions are still some "labels" that we give to the chemical processes that our bodies generate, combined with the ways in which our organism thought and impulses react to them. We can, in fact, change an emotion, our chemistry, by changing our perceptions or perspectives, our behaviors or the situations in which we place ourselves.

Sometimes it is convenient to take some slow and deep breaths while observing our internal changes. The faster we let the influence of external triggers dissipate and guide our inner center, the sooner we can see where our heart is heading. In life there are good times and bad times, emotions tell us how we are, but it is not convenient to leave usto kidnap" by them. There are no bad emotions, but we must try to have moments of reflection and introspection, when something worries or bothers us, accepting that vital moment and trying to find solutions in a mature and rational way.

4. Practice tenderness and care

Romantic love and dating are characterized initially by their acts and words of great passion and unconditional dedication to each other. Over time, friendship and honesty must support that love to be lasting, offering tenderness and care to the other person, which will help maintain our levels of oxytocin, allowing us to see beyond our own personal interests.

5. Avoid making assumptions

Although lovers want to believe that they know and understand all of each other, life guarantees that the unknown (the mystery of the future) is always present, perhaps a little deeper, a little broader and a little more in the distance of What we believe Keep the romance alive thanks to the mystery of the future, allowing you to become a better person tomorrow than you can be today.

6. Appreciate each other's surprises

Part of the magic of life as well as of our partner, is precisely what is not known: discovering that our couple loved to go to the mountains as a child, played the clarinet at school or studied French in high school, is something which may surprise us and offer a new vision of the other. When we see how he enjoys playing with a puppy or eating a tasty chocolate ice cream, we delight in those moments of simple but real happiness. The discoveries we make about our partner often allow us to see her with new eyes, and not get tired of these little discoveries.

7. Recognize the importance of physical contact

A romantic relationship is characterized, among other things, by the joy that results from physical contact between the two. The sensations of chemistry and electricity of the two experienced by touching are themselves seductive, creating a longing for continuous and repeated contact. Either because the dopamine is rewarding us with pleasure or the oxytocin With an intoxicating feeling of warmth and access to our own feelings, physical contact has no substitute: sex can be the most honest and powerful type of communication.

8. Share your fears and joys

The more we understand how our partner feels, what he thinks and why he behaves the way he does, the more honestly we can embrace. The energy required for hide a secret of one's own or others' consciousness, it has a negative effect by restricting the energy available for the flow of sincere emotions. Passion grows when these barriers are removed.

9. Accept the other as a whole

Trying to change someone in what they want to be, often condemns a relationship to suffocation failure. Let the value judgments blind you and allow yourself to accept your own and others' limitations and vulnerabilities: don't reject the parts of the whole person, even if you don't like them so much. Knowing and accepting the person from real life (instead of the idealized one) is a life-long process, but it is essential to keep the magic.

10. Focus on each other's strengths

People, unfortunately, tend to look at the weaknesses of others rather than their strengths. Than couples discover each other's main strengths, keep them in mind and value them explicitly, it serves as an enhancer of love and mutual reinforcement. For example, if someone's strength is their love of sport and that of another is their interest in learning, they could take a bike tour of a historic city to include the passions of both in the trip.

11. Accept jealousy and don't let them destroy your relationship

Jealousy They can alert us easily, often for no reason. Inevitably arise when our romantic partner pays attention to other things instead of us. Not only do we feel a great discomfort due to the emotional disconnection we perceive, but the goal of their attention may feel like a threat. Whether it is another person, an activity, a demand such as a sick child or a deadline for work, the temporary detachment that is generated makes us feel in the "background." However, we must be careful to feel “betrayed” when our partner focuses on another important aspect of their life. The best solution to deal with this is recognize our discomfort, do everything possible to satisfy it more adequately taking advantage of our own needs, express our feelings directly to the other and give each other the space to interact with other people, places and passions.

12. Be grateful

As we move forward in a relationship, we tend to take each other's feelings for granted. The Gratitude is a way to help us keep seeing the virtues of our partner.

To do this, it is important to express this feeling using what is called gratitude centered on the other, which changes the attention of "I" to "you." You can say with phrases like: "Thank you for caring for our son when he needed to finish this project." With these simple words of thanks, you show that you are a caring, kind and considerate person.

13. Face the future

The true mystery lies in what is to come, in what has not yet happened and in what we can become. Leave room to grow, dream and imagine a life together. It allows the possibilities of shared experiences to become realities. Let the differences reinforce and treasure you, so that the union is lasting and keeps your friendship firm. Make plans, look for surprise in common and just don't worry too much about the future, for whatever will come will come.

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Comments:

  1. Kegal

    Absolutely with you it agree. In it something is also to me it seems it is very excellent idea. Completely with you I will agree.

  2. Henbeddestr

    Nice post! It was interesting for me to read. Now I will look at your blog even more often.



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